Putting things into perspective

Let's put the league table into perspective.

We are ecstatic that our name is no longer directly above Dynamok.
We are relieved that we have only played 8 games, as compared to 11 to one Crestfallen team.
We are excited that we are still mathematically able to overhaul king arthur & his trusted Knights (as we score at least 20 goals and conceed none in the following matches).
We are joyful that ISA will once again win the league (despite us beating them in 2 weeks time).
We are happy that we have 2 dosages of seafood at the end of the season (hopefully it doesnt rain no more, coz we know sea creatures run away when the rain comes).
We are hopeful that Faisal will showcase his Ong "no-plot" Bak moves against some hungry Lions tmr (though Ive heard the Lions are so scared that they had to call OBS to conduct a special seminar for our wide player).

Now let's put the remaining fixtures into perspective.

Optimism is one thing, being practical is totally another. So let's opt for the latter to avoid major disappointment. The next 4 games will pretty much determine who we play next season - top sides like Chelsea & Everton, or bi-annual Championship champions Birmingham & Sunderland. As tactical genius Guus "please-stay" Hiddink would have put it, we need to win 2 of the remaining 4 matches.

Logically, the highest chance of getting that invaluable 6 points is in the last 2 games. But, who in the universe dare say we are not worthy of robbing some points from the 2 main title contenders?

With the match against Gaelic Lions less than 12 hours away, here's some useful tips that could come in handy to bring those giants down.

To beat the Lions, TeamCuzz has to..........

1) Bring the whole family down. It's a Royal Rumble, so we need 30 people. Minus their 11, we need 19 players tommorrow! Most importantly, Bro Simon, we need you!

2) Sign Randy Orton and Batista by Saturday morning. They are free transfers anyway so not much negotiations or paperwork to be done. Maybe, just maybe, we can then use the intimidating game against them. A fierce and stable defence and midfield will give us sufficient confidence that the Lions will not trample all over us like they did in the first leg (or did we trample over them instead, literally).

3) Speed demons are needed tommorow. Since Usain and Asafa turned us down citing the 2012 London Olympics as the reason, Shahrudin, Syafiq, Naufal, Syukri, Amirul WILL need to deputise in this department. Leave your mark by burning your boots off on the Regent pitch. Don't worry, new boots will be sponsored, by your own mums.

4) Architects and construction workers needed with immediate effect. We'll pay you any amount as long as you can help us do one thing - build the Great Wall of China just outside our penalty area. In fact, we might need 2 layers of that. In fact, on top of the last in fact, the wall needs to able to rebound the balls so far out to our strikers so they can create havoc in the opponents' half.

5) Watch 300 tonyte. Play with your heart. Hu-hu-hu (vain attempt, I know).

6) Close your mouth and avoid potential conflict with the Green Man. Let's face it, we need the Green Man. Else we might need several stretches and medics.

7) Sabotage their equipment. Replace their boots with local-sized ones. Carve a rock in the shape of their Adidas Pelias ball. The list is endless.

8) Remember HIM. If you do, he'll remember us too. I overheard this over Forum Ehwal Islam yesterday night. (Note: overheard, not heard)

Yup, that should provide sufficient ammo for now. TeamCuzz will turn up tomorrow in their delightful Oranjes at Regent Sec at 1415hrs. I repeat, 1415hrs. Cya there!